Nikolaus 2021

Treats and Memories and Identity

On the night of December 5, children in German-speaking Europe put a shoe outside their bedroom door. During the night, St. Nikolaus puts a small treat or two in the shoe. The treats are waiting for the children when they awake on December 6.

Our children were born in Germany, and we lived in both Germany and Switzerland for the first several years of their lives. In the years since, we have traveled frequently to Germany, Switzerland and Austria. Among us, we have also lived in Wales, Denmark, Sweden, Norway and Ireland. We exist with one foot in Europe and one foot in the United States, and we think of both places as home. When we are in the United States, we are homesick for Europe. When we are in Europe, we are missing certain things about the United States.

In our home, where ever it happens to be, we live a blended life. But there is no question that Germany and Switzerland are the locus of our family identity. Some of us remain fully bi-lingual and some of us have a degree of fluency that has waxed and waned over the years, but there are certain words and phrases that we always, only say in German. The children’s books that are the touchstone of our family culture are German as often as they are English. Our family memories mostly have European settings and languages. Together, we created a family identity through our shared experience. And the common memories that constitute our unique family culture are deep wells of joy that refresh us still.

So a few days ago, I packed up little boxes of traditional treats - clementines, marzipan, and Kinder Eier (chocolate eggs with toys hidden inside) - and mailed them off to my children. All of my children are adults now. But this sweet tradition is part of our heritage and I love celebrating it. It is an acknowledgement of who we are and of our shared experience, a cozy place populated just by us.